Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
