I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
