Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
