Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
