Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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