dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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