I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
two words: eviction party
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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