kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
