Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Randomize