How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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