I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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