Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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