I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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