I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When did angry sex become our thing?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
