Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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