you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize