if you like me you must not know who I am
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I will die if light touches me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
