That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
