I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
