Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
