are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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