i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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