just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
