she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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