Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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