And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
