Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize