her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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