Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
