Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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