It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
