Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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