Princesses don't give blow jobs
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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