I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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