Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
