i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
birth control should be required to get into college
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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