So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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