He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
