Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Randomize
