you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
