i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
