bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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