They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
