My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
