So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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