I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Are we still banned from the library?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
