piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
