we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
