He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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