under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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