well I can't set my house on fire every night
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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