just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
