I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Randomize
