someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
