kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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