Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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