remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
