...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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