I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
