No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
