I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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