When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
