Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
