At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
