haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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