i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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