Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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