I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize