Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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